I know of a swinger who has been to numerous swinger parties and who has enjoyed just about every aspect of the swinger lifestyle for the best part of twenty years. She is now in her early fifties and claims her enthusiasm for swinging is every bit as strong as it ever was.
She tells me that the main appeal for swinging for her is the rush of adrenaline that she gets from it. She says that it is like you read about rock climbers and other adventure sports people experiencing. Whenever she goes to a swinger party she experiences a “high” just by looking around at all the new potential sex partners that might be present. She stresses that this feeling happens quite separately from her subsequent sexual arousal and is the most exhilarating feeling of all.
A Sense Of Acceptance and Belonging
Another long-standing member of Club Aphrodite, described his feelings about the swinger lifestyle.
“For me, its about a deep feeling of belonging and total, non-judgemental acceptance. This is the feeling you get when everyone is naked and sharing intimacy. No one is trying to hide anything and every person involved in the sex is accepting everyone else as they are at the most fundamental level of human existence. I guess its the way we all used to feel before society dreamed up all the one partner stuff and false moral values that people have to live with these days.”
Enjoying the best sex when back home
A very common appeal for couples can be how attending swinger parties affects them when they get back home. Very many swinger couples say that the most enjoyable thing they get out of living a swinger lifestyle is the enhancement of their intimate sexual pleasure as a couple after returning home from a party. It doesn’t seem to matter whether or not they participate in any sex whilst at the party. Just the adventure of going and soaking up the super-charged erotic atmosphere is enough for most couples to enjoy some of their best ever sex once back in the privacy of their own bedroom.
Another big turn on, common amongst swinger couples of all ages is that of watching their partner having sex with other people.
This is especially common amongst males, some of whom never participate in a partner swap themselves but prefer always to just watch proceedings, usually from very close up with touching and coaxing involved. The degree of participation for the female is sometimes limited by pre-agreement between the couple so that full intercourse does not take place. Quite the opposite can also apply however, where some men enjoy watching their partners being the centre attraction of unlimited group sex in groups consisting mainly of other males.
Females are generally less voyeuristic than males so it is unsurprising that finding women who are strongly motivated towards the swinger lifestyle by watching their male partner occurs less commonly than the other way around. Despite this fact, I have still met a lot of couples where it is the female partner citing her biggest motivation for swinging is the turn on of watching her man having sex with other women. In such cases there is more often than not an element of bi-sexual participation for the woman and this might suggest that the voyeurism itself is mainly a secondary factor. For many couples where the female is thus motivated, arranging threesomes with a bi-sexual single female is a common practise. These can take place at swinger clubs and parties but are frequently arranged through online adult dating to take place in private locations. Far less common is the so-called reverse gang-bang but it is not entirely unknown for a woman to arrange this as the ultimate sexual present for her husband’s or boyfriend’s birthday etc.
Respecting what appeals to other swingers.
The swinger lifestyle appeals for many more reasons than those stated here and it is essential to understand that everyone is different and what can be highly pleasurable for one person can be quite distasteful for someone else.
My view has always been that whatever turns you on is okay as long as you don’t expect others to always feel the same as you about everything.